Understanding Beauty (The Beauty Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  Our faces are so close I can feel his breath on my face and everything in me wants to lean in and kiss him, but I don’t.

  “You’re making dinner tonight,” I say with a smirk before pushing out of his arms and turning to dive into the next wave.

  As my head breaks the water, Rogen waits and dives into the next one, coming up right in front of me. “Alright, Parker. You ever body surfed?”

  My eyes widen as I stare at him. “Body what?”

  “Body surf. Come here, I’ll show you.”

  I swim over to him and put my feet down. The water is too high and I have to constantly push off the sand to keep my head up.

  Rogen turns his back to the open ocean and faces the shore, glancing over his shoulder. “Just as the wave hits you, push off the bottom and keep your body as straight as you can. Use your body like a surfboard and ride the wave into the shore.”

  I can feel the coming wave behind me and I push off the bottom to jump over it, but Rogen pushes forward and literally rides the wave almost the entire way to the shore. When he stands, the water only comes up to his knees and his bathing suit sags enough to show the muscles in his hips.

  The thoughts that run through my mind at those muscles and the water dripping down his body are so beyond dirty and wrong, but I can’t help it.

  “Next wave is coming,” he shouts and points behind me. “Ride it in, P!”

  I glance over my shoulder and just as it hits I do exactly what he did. When I stand next to him with a triumphant smile on my face, he puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my head.

  “Again?”

  I look up at him and smile, nodding my head before we both take off back into the water. An hour and a half later, my whole body aches and I’m starving. Body surfing was way more fun than it sounded when he first said it. As we get back to the blanket, I pull both towels out and hold one out for him. He dries off and then sits on the blanket, grabbing the cooler and opening it. I sit across from him and he holds out an individually wrapped cookie brownie.

  “Yes!” I snatch it from him and practically rip it open.

  Rogen snickers and pulls out a sandwich and two bottles of water.

  “Does this mean I’ve been good?” I say shyly.

  “Very,” he says in a low husky tone.

  This is the first break we’ve taken all day and I had a purpose for this trip, so it’s time to actually get my best friend talking, if I can. “Hey, Ro?”

  “Yeah?” he says before taking another bite from his sandwich.

  “You never really talk about your life back in the States or your family.”

  I glance up and he’s staring at me with surprise on his face. “You got a question somewhere in there, Parker?” I lick my lips and sigh. Rogen sits his sandwich down and sighs even bigger than I did. “That place was never really home. I only stayed because of Collins and when she left, I didn’t have anything holding me there anymore.”

  “What about your parents?”

  Rogen shifts his body and moves the cooler before patting the spot right next to him. I scoot closer and sit with my legs folded to the side so I’m facing him, my knees lightly touching his thighs. “Our parents weren’t very loving, Parker. Not like what you and Cannon have. My whole mission in life was to protect Collins. I was so focused on how our parents acted that I never realized what Tyler was doing to her until it was too late. That’s my failure, though,” he says with the beginning of tears shining in his eyes.

  I reach up and run my fingertips through his beard, gently forcing him to look me in the eyes. “None of that was your fault, Rogen.”

  He shakes his head and I cup the side of his face. He leans into my hand and sighs again. “Our parents were abusive to her, downright cruel. But Tyler, he broke her in ways I don’t think anyone else ever did. I should have stopped him.”

  “No, no, no, babe.” He opens his eyes and stares into mine as I lean closer to him. “You saved her. She tells everyone how if it wasn’t for you, she’d still be back there being everyone's verbal punching bag. She’s here and in love, free of all that shit that caused her pain because of you. And I am, too. I wouldn’t be sitting here, able to laugh, to really breathe and feel the sun on my skin if it wasn’t for you being there with me through all my darkness, dragging me out of it even when it wasn’t your job.”

  “Parker,” he whispers, his pupils dilating as he leans a little closer to me, his hands trailing across my clavicle to grasp the side of my neck.

  “If you taught me anything, Rogen, it’s that pain will happen whether we want it to or not. How we handle that pain is what defines us.”

  I’m not sure which of us closes the gap, but before I know it my eyes are closed and our lips are pressed together. It’s soft and sweet, and after a moment we pull back enough to look at each other again. Rogen’s fingers flex on the back of my neck and then our lips crash together again. His other hand palms the side of my face, tilting my head to deepen the kiss as his tongue teases my lips open.

  My body ignites. Without taking my lips off his, I crawl into his lap and straddle him, his erection pressing hard into me and causing me to moan into his mouth. We’re all push and pull, and kisses, and something inside me breaks free . . . and it scares the shit out of me.

  Pulling away from him, I rest my forehead against his, panting and trying to catch my breath. As all the lust and adrenaline calms, panic of what just occurred sets in. I scramble off his lap, my chest aching. I didn’t want to stop. I don’t want to stop. As I start grabbing things and stuffing them in the beach bag, I realize how much I want him on me.

  “Parker, stop,” he says softly.

  I ignore him and keep packing our things. “We should get back,” I say in rushed breath.

  Rogen stands and grabs my hand, pulling the bag from it and tossing it on the blanket. “Talk to me, Parker,” he demands, his voice full of irritation. “Did you kiss me because you felt sorry for me and now you regret it? Or did you want that?”

  “I-I—”

  “Answer me, Parker,” he almost shouts. “I don’t need pity, so if that’s why you did it, then just say it.”

  “I just wanted to,” I shout, pulling my hand from his and glaring up at him. “It wasn’t pity. I’ve wanted to kiss you for days, but—”

  “But what?” His voice is lower with what sounds like a tinge of hurt in it.

  I sigh and try to stop the endless parade of fear running through me. “But I don’t want to lose you, Rogen.”

  His hands dart out and he pulls my body against his, taking my head in his hands and tilting it back so he can gently press his lips to mine. “I’ve wanted to kiss you forever, but even more so when I realized you were jealous last night.” He smirks down at me and I glare at him again.

  “I was not jealous of Little Miss Perfect.”

  Rogen kisses me again softly. “Yes, you were, and I liked it.”

  10

  By Wednesday, Rogen and I have fallen back into our normal routine. Neither of us has brought up what happened at the beach, neither of us has kissed the other . . . but something is different. Hell, everything is different. I see him differently every morning, and I catch the gleam in his eye every time he stares at me.

  I’ve spent the last three days throwing myself into Theodora’s case again, emailing Owen all the information I have for his broadcast, preparing for tomorrow night when it airs. I know the story is going to be perfect and I want the viewing to be just as perfect for the Crowes.

  Sitting in my office, I send out a few emails and think about the call I made to them this morning. They are so thankful for everything I’m doing, but I wish I could tell them to stop thanking me. I want to do this for their daughter. For others like her. This is what I’ve always wanted my job to be about.

  The Crowes and I agreed to meet here tomorrow night at seven, since the broadcast airs at eight. They also requested that I invite Rain and Rogen. Rain and I chatted through text and she
agreed to be here. The only person left to get onboard is my best friend.

  Picking up my office phone, I dial the number for the shop just in case he’s with a client and can’t answer his cell.

  “Viking Ink, how can I help you?” a nasal, high-pitched female voice says through the line making me wince.

  “Is Rogen available?”

  “Hold on a moment.”

  The line goes silent for a few and then clicks back on. “This is Rogen.” His southern accent comes out just enough to make me smile.

  “Is it bad that your voice made me smile and the girl’s made me cringe?” I say, trying to sound completely serious.

  “Try listening to it all day, babe, then you can complain.” The irritation in his tone is unmistakable and I honestly feel slightly bad for him.

  “So, you booked up this afternoon or can you meet me for lunch? I need to talk to you.”

  “Is everything okay? Did something happen?” There’s an edge of panic in his voice and I realize I could have stated my request better.

  “No, nothing’s wrong. I just want to ask you something, but I’d rather ask in person.”

  “I always have time for you, Parker, you know that. Meet me at the diner in twenty?”

  “Only if you share one of those fried platter thingies Collins has me addicted to,” I say with a chuckle.

  “I’d eat fried pickles off your body if it meant I get to have lunch with you, babe. See you in twenty.” He hangs up and my jaw drops open.

  No one on the face of the planet should make fried food sound sexy and erotic, but Rogen just did. I gather my purse and let my assistant know I’m stepping out for a long lunch and to take messages until I get back. Twenty minutes later, I walk into the diner and find Rogen sitting at a booth in the back corner.

  Walking over, I stop at the end of the table and Rogen smiles up at me. As I go to slide across from him, he reaches out and grabs my wrist, pulling me into the seat next to him.

  “Hello, gorgeous,” he says with that southern drawl a little thicker than usual. His eyes never leave my face and a shiver runs down my spine.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself today,” I say with a shy smile.

  “What can I get you guys today?” the waitress says, stepping up to the table. Her eyes gloss over me and widen when she takes Rogen in. I try to hide my smile when he doesn’t even look up at her, keeping his eyes on me the whole time.

  “Two sweet teas, a fried platter, and two mushroom Swiss burgers, both medium well,” he says, and this time I can’t help but smile.

  She walks away and I’m surprised when Rogen reaches over and intertwines his fingers with mine on top of my thigh.

  “I think she liked you,” I say with a quiet chuckle.

  “Not interested,” he says and he still hasn’t taken his eyes off my face. “What did you need to ask me, P?”

  “Well, two things actually,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. The waitress comes back with our drinks and I wait until she walks away. “First, tomorrow is the broadcast for Theodora’s story. Her parents are coming to view it with me at my office and they want you and Rain to be there.”

  A sad smile crosses his lips. “I’ll be there. What time?”

  “It starts at eight, so they’re going to be there around seven.”

  “How about we ride together. Come home after work, we can have a quick snack and head back over. Make a late dinner when we get home,” he suggests and I nod, squeezing his hand with mine. “What’s the second thing?”

  “Would you tattoo me?” I kind of blurt the question out because until recently I’d never given a tattoo much thought.

  “Seriously?” His face is littered with shock. “What do you want?”

  “I don’t know exactly. I thought I could maybe tell you what I want it to represent and maybe you could design something.”

  The waitress comes back again and sets down our appetizer. Instantly, I grab a few fried pickles and pop them in my mouth before picking up Rogen’s favorite, the loaded potato skins, and holding it out for him. He winks at me and wraps his free hand around my wrist before leaning forward and taking a bite. I pop the other half in my mouth and chuckle.

  “So, what ideas do you have?”

  We chat for the next fifteen minutes as I try to explain that I want something that shows remembrance of Dalton but also a reminder of the pain I went through and how I’m fighting to come back stronger. By the time the waitress brings our food, he has a megawatt smile on his face.

  “I think I can work with that. I’ll let you know when I have some ideas sketched out and we can go from there.”

  Before I can chicken out or second guess myself, I lean over and kiss his cheek, letting my lips linger on his skin a moment. “Thank you,” I whisper.

  Rogen reaches up and runs his thumb across my cheek. “Anything for you, P, you know that.”

  We eat together and catch up on little things. It’s not like we don’t talk all the time living together, but I kinda love the fact that even though we do talk so much, we never really run out of things to talk about. At the same time, silence is literally never awkward with us either.

  When the waitress brings the check, I try to pay but Rogen gives me a death glare. “Don’t even try it. I got this.”

  As I slide out of the booth, he throws down some cash and follows me outside. Stopping at my car, he quietly kisses my cheek, lingering just like I did earlier, before saying he’ll see me at home later and turning to head back to work.

  As I drive back to my office, I know damn well I’m going to spend the rest of the day on cloud nine, and for once it doesn’t terrify the ever-loving shit out of me.

  11

  The broadcast for Theodora was amazing. I joined Mrs. Crowe in crying through most of it, Rain sitting on one side of me holding my hand and Rogen on the other side with his arm firmly around my shoulders. As the credits begin to play, I glance at the clock, standing to turn on the lights in my office.

  “Parker, we can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve already done for our baby girl,” Mr. Crowe says as he stands and surprises me with a hug.

  “I didn’t do anything this time,” I say, trying to get my emotions back under control. “This was all my friend, Owen.”

  “Well, you pass our thanks on to him, too,” Mrs. Crowe says as she hugs me.

  I walk them from my office to the elevator, promising to call next week with an update on the case, and when I step back in the office, Rain is cleaning up the spread of food Collins sent over while Rogen is putting the furniture back where it belongs.

  “Guys, you don’t have to do all this,” I sigh with a little laugh. I’m trying not to show it, but I am emotionally exhausted.

  Rogen picks up one of my chairs and brings it back to its place in front of my desk, then comes over and wraps me in his arms. I tilt my head up to stare at him and he leans down and softly kisses my lips. I glance around him and as soon as my eyes meet Rain’s, she spins away and keeps packing food.

  “Let’s get finished so we can go home. You’re exhausted, babe,” he says, kissing my forehead and then going back to moving the last of the furniture.

  Rain, Rogen, and I walk out together and stop at her car. “Thank you for being here, bitch,” I say with sarcasm and a smile as she turns and hugs me tight.

  “Anything for you, wee fucker,” she says in my ear. “And you have some explaining to do.”

  When she pulls back and gives me a pointed glare, my cheeks heat and I bite my lip, giving her a slight nod. Rogen and I wait until she’s in the car with the door closed.

  As soon as we’re both in his car, he starts the engine and reaches across the seat to take my hand. “I’m so proud of you, babe.”

  My cheeks heat again. I don’t know whether I like that that keeps happening or whether I’m going to get annoyed by it. At the moment, I kinda like it.

  “Thanks,” I whisper while staring down at our hands.r />
  This is the first night since the beach that Rogen and I have really been physically close and alone. Something is different between us. The air between us is charged and butterflies beat against my ribs. It’s been so long since I felt like this, and I keep waiting for the pain and the guilt to rush back in. It hasn’t yet, but it will. I know it will.

  When Rogen pulls up to the house, we’re both talking and laughing as we walk together toward the door, our eyes on each other, not in front of us.

  “Uh, hey, Rogen,” a small but high voice says.

  Both our heads snap up just as we reach the stairs to the front door. Sierra is standing there in unnaturally tight pants and a crop-top, holding a six-pack.

  “Uh, hey,” Rogen says, taking a step forward.

  I glance from him to her, and as her eyes rack up and down his body with a lustful smile on her face, jealousy and hurt fills my entire body from my toes to my hairline. There is no way in hell I’m going in the house and having to watch them hang out and flirt, and probably listen to them fuck later through the walls.

  I didn’t even realize Rogen was still seeing her or that he had a date after the broadcast tonight. Before tears can spill in front of either of them, I drop Rogen’s hand and turn, taking off down the sidewalk.

  “Parker!” Rogen yells from behind me. “Parker, wait!”

  I walk faster, almost running to get to the next block. The moment I turn the corner, my mobile starts vibrating in my back pocket. Rogen’s name flashes across the screen. I ignore the call. Fifteen minutes later, I’m walking into the cemetery and back to Dalton.

  As I sink to my knees right in front of his headstone, I realize that it’s been a while since I’ve been here. My phone keeps vibrating and after the sixth call I turn the damn thing off. Staring at Dalton’s name, I cry and lean my forehead against the smooth, cold marble.

  “I don’t know what to do, Dalt. Everything feels like a roller coaster right now. Up, down, spirals. One minute, I’m smiling and excited, the next my stomach is in my throat and I want to hurl.”