Finding Beauty (The Beauty Trilogy Book 1) Read online

  Finding Beauty

  The Beauty Trilogy Book #1

  Raven Scott

  Finding Beauty

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are all products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblances to persons, organizations, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.

  Finding Beauty. Copyright © 2019 by Raven Scott. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations used in articles or reviews. For information, contact Raven Scott.

  https://www.facebook.com/AuthorRavenScott

  Publishing provided by Knox Publishing

  Cover design by Jay Aheer, Simply Defined Art.

  Photography by Melissa Deanching, RplusMPhoto

  Editing by Courtney Lynn Rose, Knox Publishing

  Formatting by Brynn Burke, Knox Publishing

  Proofreading by Tracy Comerford, Knox Publishing

  Created with Vellum

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  Dedication

  To My Incredible Mother

  I decided to dedicate this to you, Momma. You have supported me in everything from sports to quitting college. You have been a shoulder to cry on, my number one cheerleader, and my road trip buddy. You are my absolute best friend, Mom. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made for me and my sister. The countless times you went without, just so we could have everything we have ever wanted. You never get recognized enough.

  So, here I am screaming to the world that I see YOU, Momma.

  Thank you.

  I love you, always.

  Acknowledgments

  O.H.W – Boobear, let me just start off by saying: thank you. Thank you for letting me vent to you enough for you to want to give my book a chance. You have supported me since this book was just an idea that I had zero confidence in. You saw what could be… what I could be. I love you for that. Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. I love you. (Rogen loves you, too.)

  A.L.B— My Mama Ru, thank you. You have always been there for me. I am forever thankful for Upward Bound, it was because of them we were given the chance to meet. We’ve been best friends for eight years, and though we may live far away from each other and we don’t talk every single day. I know without a doubt that if I called you right now, you would answer. I love you— Your Michelle V.

  J. B. L— Broom, thank you for being there for me so many times this past year. I have countlessly whined and complained to you about my book and you have helped me through it all. Honestly, you are the best boss ever. I want to say here that you are appreciated. I love you.

  Elizabeth— Where do I start? You have been the biggest help in navigating this crazy, but amazing book world. Thank you for helping me whether it was about books or about life. You are the best person, and the best kind of friend. I am honestly so happy that our paths crossed. You will always hold a place in my heart, Liz.

  Brynn— I just want to say thank you for making me realize that I needed to chase my dreams, to take the chance on Knox Publishing, and stop letting the fear run me away from those dreams. You absolutely kick ass at whatever you do, and that inspires me. Guess what? We are writing sister wives now!

  My Beta Team— I just want to make sure you all know how appreciated and thankful I am for you guys. Especially for taking time out of your busy schedules and lives to read my book and give me back honest and helpful feedback. This being my debut book, I was a basket case of nerves and you all helped me keep sane for the most part. So, thank you!

  Reader – Thank you for playing the most important role— for reading my book. I will never be able to express the gratitude that I hold for each of you.

  Invisible

  I am the background in the play.

  I am the forgettable beat in the song.

  I am the long-forgotten scenery in the painting.

  I am the corner in a room full of people.

  I am the person that walks by you every day.

  It’s me, you see.

  -Collins Danford (Raven Scott)

  Contents

  Prologue

  1. The New Beginning

  2. New Start

  3. The Loft

  4. Him

  5. Moving In

  6. New Job

  7. Lust

  8. Figuring it out

  9. Confused

  10. The Morning After

  11. Questions

  12. Brothers

  13. Realization

  14. Embarrassed

  15. Roommate

  16. Is it More?

  17. Emotions

  18. Eye Opening

  19. Enough

  20. Tattoo

  21. Escape

  22. Moving on

  23. Fears

  24. Scared

  25. Goodbye

  26. Justice

  27. Yes

  28. Is this Real?

  29. Planning

  30. Hurting

  31. Terms

  32. Close

  33. The Wedding

  34. Happiness

  Epilogue

  Coming Soon

  Prologue

  He was my everything. I am the mere shell of the woman that I once was. Each time he took and took until my soul belonged to him. I thought he was my forever, but I was wrong… so wrong. He was my captor, and I was his prey. No, he never touched me violently, but he did destroy me… mentally. Tyler is a man that I escaped from. He is the man that ruined me. But, what made me finally realize that I needed to leave was catching him with someone I thought was my best friend.

  How wrong was I when I thought they were both my family?

  “Collins, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way,” Preston says while chasing me out the door.

  “Then, how? How would you want me to find out that my best friend fucking betrayed me? Because this shouldn’t be happening,” I scream.

  I could expect this from Tyler because he said it so many times to me. I was not enough… sexy enough… physically enough. I was heavy, and I was fat. I was okay in the face, but not in the body.

  Preston was perfection— blonde and beautiful… confident, like a siren calling out to her victims. I just didn’t think it would be my boyfriend who fell captive to her.

  “I can’t believe that he has been faithful to your fat ass this whole damn time, Collins. You should be lucky that it was me rather than someone else,” she states catty.

  Is she fucking serious?

  “Preston, you slept with the man I thought I would be with forever. You expect me not to be angry about this, but this is the biggest betrayal.” I say while rushing to get in my car.

  I drive off before she could say anything else to me. Tyler hadn’t even bothered to cover up or even come after me. He simply didn’t care that he had caused so much pain for me. That he had taken away my friendship… the only friendship that I have or had now.

  I cry… I scream… I cry until there is nothing left to cry.

  I make a promise to myself here and now.

  I will not stay in this fucking small town with backstabbing people who parade around here thinking that everything is supposed to be a certain way. I am going to leave and make something of myself.

  I’ve learned from my foolish heart. Love
does not exist for people like me— it is as simple as that.

  1

  The New Beginning

  For some reason, there was beeping in the distance that could only explain why this was too good to be true. I was walking through the streets of Edinburgh on Christmas with the best of friends, but the beeping kept interrupting the conversation of tonight’s plans.

  Then the girl next to me said, “Collins, wake up my dear.”

  It was then I was jolting awake to the covers being pulled from me. “Rogen! Why are you even in my room at this God forsaken hour?” I said with a scowl.

  Rogen answered with a smirk, “Because it’s the last time, I will get to wake you up like this for a while.” Even if he is annoying, I’m going to miss my older brother more than anything. But, this is precisely what I’ve dreamt of since I was the age of sixteen. This is the day I leave America to travel to Edinburgh, Scotland. I can already see the lights and the people in my head.

  “Collins, have you double checked everything?” my mother says while walking into my room.

  “Mother, everything is packed and ready.” I couldn’t be more than ready to get away from this town, these people, and my ex-boyfriend, Tyler.

  “Everyone, we need to leave now so I will not miss my plane,” I said screamingly. My brother, mom, and dad all came down the stairs, with my mother sobbing for the tenth time in the past two days. My dad and brother start to grab my bags and start the car. I look around the only home I’ve ever known, and I will miss the people more than the place itself.

  I hear my brother yell, “Collins if you so badly want to go, let’s go!” I run to the car, full of excitement to start this new journey.

  As we pass the houses that had filled my lonely days, I was more hurt. They were all full of hateful people and horrible memories. We reach the airport with an hour to spare, and my father suggested we go grab something to eat.

  “Dad, I’m going to miss you,” I said. He just nods and goes on talking about his work.

  Rogen leans over and says, “Don’t worry about it, Collins. Dad will miss you too, heck I’ll miss you.” I know he is right, but still, deep down I would like for my father to say at least I’ll miss you back. How hard is that?

  Lunch goes by so drudgingly slow, but the time has arrived to board my plane. After the hugs and goodbyes, I am finally up in the air on my way to my dream location. I take out my planner to go over the next couple of days, with finding an apartment at the top of my list. What my parents don’t know yet, is that I’m not planning on coming home at the end of the month. I’ve accepted a job with one of the most prestigious college libraries in Edinburgh. This will be my new start and a chance to be me, with no hateful or noisy people to surround me in my failures. I knew deep down that if my parents or my brother knew of my plans they never would have let me board the plane.

  The lady comes over the intercom with a smooth Scottish accent, “Ladies and gentlemen, please if you would buckle up, we are five minutes away from landing. With that being said, I would like to welcome you to wonderful Scotland.”

  As I look out the window all I can see is green but in the far off distance, the lights of the most beautiful cities that I’ve ever seen. I keep repeating to myself this is my new beginning; no one knows you here Collins. You will not get your heart broken, but you will surround yourself with positive people.

  2

  New Start

  When I finally get a cab after twenty minutes of whistling and jumping up and down, I have to share it with this other woman. She is beautiful, and immediately I feel self-conscious. I’m as you can say very unattractive, with a pudgy stomach, big breasts, and a fat ass.

  Even when I dated Tyler, he would always say, ‘Collins, you should be happy I’m with you, because who would want a woman of your size.’ At the time, and still to this day, I know he is right. So, it’s most definitely the reason why I am so uncomfortable around this stranger. She is everything I’ve always dreamed of looking like.

  Her hair is short and blond with huge green eyes. She has the style of a hipster model, with medium size breasts and a flat stomach. It is now that I realize the stranger is talking to me. “Hello, my name is Parker Helding. What’s your name?” she says with a Scottish accent and a bright smile.

  I immediately say, “Hi, I’m Collins Danford.”

  “Is this your first time in Scotland?”

  With an excited face, I say, “Yes, I’ve always dreamed of moving to Scotland.”

  “So you’re from America, what part?” She asks with a quizzical face.

  Not understanding why this woman is nice to me, I answer back with, “Polling, Alabama.” It’s the place that is the worst and most adorable town anyone could grow up in.

  “Your accent is amazingly cute! Where are you moving to? Do you know where you are going to live yet?” Parker says,

  “I’m hopefully living here, I still haven’t found a place yet though. I have a couple of places that are on my list that I’m going to check out today. You want to look at them and tell me where not to look.” I say,

  She immediately says she would love to help.

  “This is the place you should look at first, I know the owner personally, and it’s spotless and affordable.”

  I was immersed into gratitude that this stranger, I mean Parker, would be so helpful. We spent the rest of the ride conversing about different things, like places to tour, eat, or places to pick up men. I will most definitely not be doing that for a while.

  But, we exchanged numbers, and she said she would go with me to the loft that her friend has up for rent. I finally arrive at the hotel I will be staying at until I find the right place to live. Even though it is only the first day of being in this beautiful city, I already know that this is where I am meant to be.

  With all my stuff laid out for the next day, I jump into bed and start researching my boss and coworkers so I won’t be blindsided come Monday. I just hope that they don’t have too many questions for me. With my mind still racing, I pick one of the many books that I packed and start reading.

  Reading has always been my safe place, I guess that’s why I have a Masters in Library and Media Science. As soon as I finish the book, I realize that it’s three in the morning, and I have to be up in four hours to meet Parker. I think this was the beginning of a great start in the land of independent women.

  Collins, this will be your new start.

  3

  The Loft

  With the smell of coffee seeping through the portals, the cab that I was climbing into smelled like the sweet smell of golden liquid, and my new-found friend was handing me the other cup.

  “So, are you excited to see the loft? I, personally think you’re going to love it! Plus, Rain is super cool,” she says with a smile.

  “Yes, I truly am. I just hope that I can afford it.”

  “Collins, trust me. The rent is so affordable, and the view is spectacular,” she says happily.

  Even though, she is still a stranger to me, I feel as if I can trust her more than any friend I have ever had. When I look up from my planner, we are pulling up to the most historic looking building in the heart of the city. It’s, to say the least, amazingly beautiful. Parker runs up to the man in a suit, and gives him a passionate kiss. I’m now freaking out. Please do not let this be Rain.

  “Collins, I would like you to meet my boyfriend, Dalton. Dalton, this is Collins Danford, the girl I was telling you about last night,” she says with a smirk. As the man starts walking towards us, all I can think is, wow. Dalton is the epitome of gorgeous. He is the exact man I would avoid because men like him don’t ever look at women like me.

  “Hello Collins, I hope Scotland is all you were hoping for. If you want, we can go up and look at the loft. My sister, Rain, is out of town right now. But, she has granted me permission to show her apartment off to you,” he says with a thick roguish accent.

  With a simple sigh, I say, “That would be lovely, Da
lton. But, I do have some questions. We can save those until I see the entire loft, if you don’t mind?”

  “Yes, that will be fine. Right this way, ladies, the elevator is located over there. It’s the top floor, apartment 16B. There are a couple of things that are not shown on the website, like the balcony and upstairs library. I’ll let you look around yourself before showing you the bedroom for rent,” he says with a grin.

  As I walk through the door, I am completely dumbfounded by the ample open space. Immediately, I locate the kitchen, very spacious and rustic. The stairs that lead up to the library are at the heart of the loft.

  As I walk up the stairs, Dalton yells, “Sorry for the lack of stuff up there. My sister doesn’t use it often. Since she has an office connected to her bedroom.”

  But, all I care about is the large bookshelves that surround the desk in the middle of the room. It is perfect. I can visually see myself working on paperwork or reading by the bay window. All I know is that I can never afford this place, and I haven’t even seen the bedroom that could be possibly mine.